he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize