After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
