I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
