how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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