and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
