I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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