Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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