C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
