I accidentally had phone sex last night
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
