I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I intend to get homeless drunk
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize