he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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