dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If I die, sorry about rent.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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