yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
