6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
