Sry I called you an 8
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
