remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I am morally bankrupt
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
