I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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