Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize