When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
