Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize