I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
