I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
