Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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