I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
