there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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