I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
