You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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