Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
