last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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