What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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