She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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