OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
