I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
