jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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