My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Randomize
