Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
