If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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