have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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