omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
