hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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