I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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