Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize