if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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