You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This girl is more easily done than said...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
