last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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