Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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