if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
