So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
