i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
