Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
