Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
