Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
