Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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