If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
