I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My dick has a subreddit
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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