what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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