this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
