Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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