Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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