Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
