i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You pole danced in your parka.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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