i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
