thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
