Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
