Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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