i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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