pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
