Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
