sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
