Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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