How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
