I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize