Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
