That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
