chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
